XENITH

hello colleagues!

OK, folks, straight-dope time. down-to-earthness. level ground, pow-wowing. think: wow, we’re sincere. sincerely, folks, I mean, man to man, woman to woman. think of us as brothers, I mean. sisters. would you lie to your brother? sis?

maintain eye contact. OK?

it’s just good business, I mean, the whole honesty thing. there’s got to be a consensus- life not being a series of gig lamps etc. surrounded by static etc. all other sounds drowned out by the pervasive etc. unable to ignore it and so on. just the god’s honest truth, folks. it’s not me, it’s just the word. OK? I mean, use your own intuition.

see what I’m doing?

now, look. I realize some of you are new to this business and I sympathize somewhat but only to the extent I can. I can sympathize to the extent that you will still reform your habits of giving out advice- no more than the bare minimum of sympathy, that’s what you get out of me, no more niceness than that, stop making excuses, live your best life now, don’t give up, you’re losing it, slipping, you slide backwards, you’ve got no traction, no vision, no drive, momentum, man, forward motion, turn, turn, turn.

OK?

you’re the man. you’ve got to believe me. absolutely imperative that you do.

advice giving, right? that’s our job. it’s you and me, I mean. me and you, we’re bearing this art form on our backs. I’m doing my work, I mean. I mean I get clients too. I get work too. and that’s what it has to be to me, just to get through it. I mean, sure, the twenty clients- seekers of truth, lost sheep, wanderers in the shakespearian sense of the word, etc.- I breeze through in an hour, sure, I want to tell them that one thing more- that extra pinache, you know, dig into them with the tip, twist them better, make them hurt to come back. you know?

but can I do that? you’ve been slacking, we both know that, no excuses, no bullshit with me, you can’t bullshit the amount of weight- your slack- I’ve been picking up lately, you cannot talk your way out of that, twenty, desperate for my advice, three minutes per client. getting them to trust me in three minutes, and do what i say, three minutes, you know what that’s like?

it’s impossible, OK? it’s fucking impossible.

what I’m saying is this. I’m saying, help me. help me by helping me help you. OK? that’s at the heart of it.

just use your heart. yes, you can continue to go out drinking with the others who have decided, fuck it, it’s a useless job, it’s a hopeless job, they have cancer, they have no jobs, they have children who have nothing to eat and have to feed the children with nothing to eat, they have nothing. but you know what? it’s in those darkest hours that, etc, and who’s better served by, and nobody necessarily believes in god anyways, and it is best to occupy ourselves with hobbies like how best to give advice to people like that.

best, people. best. not most adequately or most effectively. best. I’m saying- do any of you know the difference between good and well? ours is good work, not well work. I mean, if you don’t understand that, you’re better off quitting.

you’re better off being one of them. no, you’d better be one of them, seeking, grasping, empty fish mouths gaping and swallowing. they drink our water and never thirst, ever, ever, ever.

so fix what’s ailing you. they tell you that it is irresponsible for a sad person to tell other sad people how to not be sad anymore. I believe in the freedom of poetry, don’t you? I believe that is the heart of the advice-giving art form. I believe you are the only way you’re going to get out of this whole mess. take responsibility for your own actions. give advice again. you have no choice but to give advice again.

from,

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