WAYESAP, or, What Are You Even Saying About Puppets
if that repulses you, i don't know what more i can do for you. i am a gas station cashier. you are anton chigurh. neither of us will die in this movie, but that's not the point.
paper cranes are lame
i'm pretty sure if you make a career out of putting stuff like that on craigslist, you'll go to heaven forever and get some weird stuff people want to trade you for along the way. obviously, this is what i want out of my youth.
kali the destroyer
i'll say, "you know this whole thing has been a dream," and you'll say, "oh," and i'll say, "you know, dreaming your teeth are falling out means you're insecure about how you look," and then you'll wake up.
what kind of a day it has been
look, if you are going to write a column about what it means now that osama bin laden is dead, really you have to weigh your options first.
whateverandever, amen
sometimes i come this fucking close to putting the whole column in italics and in swears just to give those gorgeous tart medullas that shiver. you know the shiver.
i love your shoes
the self-abnegation, i mean. it's good for you. taken in equal doses with actual reading, it's probably like boiled kale served with boiled chicken: tasteless; useful.
year of the dozen goatees
I grow a full beard; I shave it down to a goatee; I shave the goatee. This I will do twelve times.
diddy does AWP: part two
i have learned this too: don't presume.
also i have decided to worship accidents. i intend not to explain.
diddy does AWP: part one
i have been drinking whiskey almost nonstop since getting here.
melville, massachusetts
we enter, rao's, bathroom, realizing mid-piss that throwing our coat over our laptop is not a crime deterrent
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